Per non vivere soli

For not to live alone
We live with a dog
Taking care of roses
Or carrying a cross

For not to live alone
We make up our pasts
So we can love something
A souvenir, a voice

For not to live alone
We live for the summer
And when summertime is dead
To the next summer we leave

For not to live alone
I love you and I wait for you
So I can have the illusion
of not living alone

For not to live alone
Certain loves bloom
Those most people for good
Adress to as special

For not to live alone
We have children
Children who remain alone
Just like every other child

For not to live alone
We build ourselves cathedrals
In order to give our hopes
A new pair of wings

For not to live alone
I love you and I wait for you
So I can have the illusion
of not living alone


For not to live alone
We make ourselves some friends
For when tiredness
is taking it's toll on us

We live for dreams,
money and palaces
But money cannot warm up
A king-size bed

For not to live alone
I live with you
I am alone with you
You are alone with me

For not to live alone
Let us live like everyone else
Under the illusion that
it might not be that wat

Mattina Malata

Ed oggi mi sono risvegliato due volte
Sentendomi malato
Non ci potevo andare
Invece ci sono rimasto

Il tempo di polirsi
di dolersi un po'
mi sono detto
lascia stare
che più tardi
lo farò

poi mi sono reso conto
dopo risvegliarmi un'altra volta
che oggi non assomigliava più a ieri
invece diverso, era vuoto come prima

Vuoto come da sempre
Me ne dolgo un po'
mi sono detto
lascia stare
altri pensieri
devi trovare

Quanto veloce è il tempo
Quanto brutte sono le ore
Quanto lunghi sono i secondi
Ma nonostante tutto, non me ne frego un attimo

Inoltre non rinuncio a negare
che per me sia tardi ormai
e quindi neguerò fino alla fine
che per me non ci sia posto

Die Nacht ein Ende sucht

Being surrounded by circumstances I despise everyday takes it's toll from me every morning.
How far do I have to go to see that the night searches for an end?
How long do I have to wait before my dawn breaks in?
I feel strained and uninspired today. As if I don't feel like existing any longer out of my own mind.

Everything is supressed, my personality, my life, my routine, my thoughts, my voice, it is all being through a very long stand-by. The more I look into the future, the less patience I have left for the present.

To escape from this living hell is my only raison d'être. My promisse of freedom.

Complexo de Cassandra

"Cassandra passa a ser considerada como louca ao tentar comunicar à população troiana as suas inúmeras previsões de catástrofe e desgraça"

Deus e eu nunca nos demos muito bem. Tampouco eu consegui acreditar quando me diziam que o destino era algo traçado e imutável.

Se existe algo que me é natural, é o ato de profetizar o meu futuro de maneira autorrealizável e a vida alheia de maneira intuitiva e paradigmática.

Re-leio históricos de conversa, traço metas, objetivos, batizo a todos com pseudônimos de corpos celestes para que tudo se torne mais romanticamente calculista.

Analiso detalhes das personalidades, defino um começo, um meio e um fim à participação da maioria das pessoas na minha vida e, por vezes, mesmo entre as vidas delas.

Penso conhecer muito da maioria das pessoas no momento em que as vejo ao vivo, às vezes não preciso nem ao menos vê-las ao vivo para conhecê-las muito mais que gostaria um dia.

Quase tudo é previsto e premeditado. Existe, contudo, certa espontaneidade no meio; mas o que não é espontâneo costuma ser omitido a fim de evitar julgamentos e garantir o sucesso do que foi planejado.

Ademais, costumo sempre saber muito mais sobre as pessoas que o que elas sabem sobre mim. Isso (nem) sempre é omisso.

É muito difícil algo ser-me surpreendentemente imprevisível. Contudo, não quero soar arrogante ou pré-potente; escutai-me quando eu vos disser que estou (quase) sempre errante e errando.

L'attente

Chaque instant de ma vie ici me parait un instant gâché.

Je n'ai plus de cours, je n'ai aucune envie de fêter, je ne veux plus sortir sinon de cet enfer. Mon état va de pire en pire. Malgré en pleine santé physique, je me sens tout abimé dédains, tout est rassi...

Du matin jusqu'à ce que je me couche, je ne cesse pas de penser aux jours lointains, car une semaine dans l'enfer me parait un siècle.

.Je n'ai d'autre raison d'être que celle dont je dois partir ailleurs immédiatement, bientôt, un jour...
Ce soir, je suis en train de boire du whisky tout seul, fermé dans ma chambre, isolé des autres. Je ne l'avais jamais fait avant.

Pourtant, c'était le moyen le plus facile pour écarter mes pensées de ma propre fin.
Quant à ma famille, je ne veux qu'être libre, et très très très très loin d'eux, un océan de distance. Je suis le fils problème, l'étrange, l'étranger, celui qui ne jamais satisfait du tout. L'égoïste, le rêveur fou qui n'a pas ses pieds sur terre. Celui qui tout ratera.

Ils disent qu'ils m'aiment, mais je n'ai pas besoin de ce genre d'amour, j'ai besoin de liberté, d'être loin de cette terre foutue de merde.

Suis-je ingrate? Suis-je ingrate si le destin qui j'ai choisi pour moi est tellement différent de l'éternel ennui dont ils se sont mis? Pourquoi ne suis-je pas comme eux?

À la fin, c'est une "win-win situation" pour eux. Je pars, puis je serai loin d'eux et ils seront loin de moi, loin de mes problèmes, loin de ma tristesse, de ma mélancolie, de ma façon "freak" d'être. Et un jour, je leur payerai tout ce que je leur dois et enfin. Rien ne sera à moi que la liberté et, si j'aurai de la change, le bonheur.

Ma mère n'a pas raison quand elle dit que je ne serai jamais heureux, je sais que je vaincrai et j'oublierai tous ces chagrins, tous ces méchancetés, ces jours infernaux, car je serai trop noyé dans ma félicité pour me souvenir des jours où j'étais surchargé par ma propre existence.

Et je jure, oui, je le jure, je jure que personne sur terre ne fera de mon paradis un enfer. Car après souffrir autant que j'ai souffert, même la mort ne me fait plus peur.

I don't like this place.

I don't like this place.  I don't like this place.  I don't like this place.  I don't like this place.  I don't like this place.  I don't like this place.  I don't like this place.  I don't like this place.  I don't like this place.  I don't like this place.  I don't like this place.  I don't like this place.  I don't like this place.  I don't like this place.  I don't like this place.  I don't like this place.  I don't like this place.  I don't like this place.  I don't like this place.  I don't like this place.  I don't like this place.  I don't like this place.  I don't like this place.  I don't like this place.  I don't like this place.  I don't like this place.  I don't like this place.  I don't like this place.  I don't like this place.  I don't like this place.  I don't like this place.  I don't like this place.  I don't like this place.  I don't like this place.  I don't like this place.  I don't like this place.  I don't like this place.  I don't like this place.  I don't like this place.  I don't like this place.  I don't like this place.  I don't like this place.  I don't like this place.  I don't like this place.  I don't like this place.  I don't like this place.  I don't like this place.  I don't like this place.  I don't like this place.  I don't like this place.  I don't like this place.  I don't like this place.  I don't like this place.  I don't like this place.  I don't like this place.  I don't like this place.  I don't like this place.  I don't like this place.  I don't like this place.  I don't like this place.  I don't like this place.  I don't like this place.  I don't like this place.  I don't like this place.  I don't like this place.  I don't like this place.  I don't like this place.  I don't like this place.  I don't like this place.  I don't like this place.  I don't like this place.  I don't like this place.  I don't like this place.  I don't like this place.  I don't like this place.  I don't like this place.  I don't like this place.  I don't like this place.  I don't like this place.  I don't like this place.  I don't like this place.  I don't like this place.  I don't like this place.  I don't like this place. Please, take me away from this living hell. I don't like this place.  I don't like this place.  I don't like this place.  I don't like this place.  I don't like this place.  I don't like this place.  I don't like this place.  I don't like this place.  I don't like this place.  I don't like this place.  I don't like this place.  I don't like this place.  I don't like this place.  I don't like this place.  I don't like this place.  I don't like this place.  I don't like this place.  I don't like this place.  I don't like this place.  I don't like this place.  I don't like this place.  I don't like this place.  I don't like this place.  I don't like this place.  I don't like this place.  I don't like this place.  I don't like this place.  I don't like this place.  I don't like this place.  I don't like this place.  I don't like this place.  I don't like this place.  I don't like this place.  I don't like this place.  I don't like this place.  I don't like this place.  I don't like this place.  I don't like this place.  I don't like this place.  I don't like this place.  I don't like this place.  I don't like this place.  I don't like this place.  I don't like this place.  I don't like this place.  I don't like this place.  I don't like this place.  I don't like this place.  I don't like this place.  I don't like this place.  I don't like this place.  I don't like this place.  I don't like this place.  I don't like this place.  I don't like this place.  I don't like this place.  I don't like this place.  I don't like this place.  I don't like this place.  I don't like this place.  I don't like this place.  I don't like this place.  I don't like this place.  I don't like this place.   

Incubo

It is a damn cold and disturbing morning. The dawn is breaking outside and I couldn't find any sleep yet.
What is life ? Why does everything feel so predictable ? Is there a way out of this prison ? My jail is my skin and I seem unable to find a way to breathe.
 For how long will I keep numbing myself away from reality ? What is reality ?
It seems to be this weird 1st person informationally overloaded constant vision.
This whole thing is such a weird scenario, who are all these people ? Why do they exist ? Why do I exist ? Why am I here ? Why do I have to be here ? Why do I think so much ? Is thought the only bound between me and this life thing ?
I feel so utterly tired of listening to my own voice, I'm surrounded by all kinds of people and yet I feel overwhelmed by my own constant and annoying company.
Am I just as nnoying to others as I am to myself ? I don't want to sleep, I don't want to face the lack of meaning of my existence... I don't want to rehearse death..
I hear noises of them waking up. How can they live without being haunted by the very same questions that keep on and on resonating inside of me ?
Am I God ? Would that be the reason why I am myself and why I am living this whole life ?
I feel so isolated in this hideous town where absolutely everyone seems to be empty of selfconsciousness ! I don't want to keep dissecting reality, I just needed to share this point of view.
It feels dangerous and unworth it to deconstruct every concept of existence... yet I wish people could just stop all their omnious deeds for a brief second and then ask themselves "WHY ?"

I looked into the skies for the answers... but all that I've found was silence and dirty ground.

...I feel much better now... per il momento, trovai una uscita fuori da questo incubo.