Et soudain, intervint ma doute
au début
je vous raconte la fin
j'ai une migraine catastrophique
comme si j'avais pas assez dormi
comme si je connaissais pas du tout sa raison
Au milieu, je vous raconte le début
Malgré mon inspiration
J'ai même plus d'esprit pour la poésie
mais qu'est-ce que me rend aussi con ?
J'écoutai la mauvaise voix
celle qui est opposée à la bonne raison
Et le bon Dieu, Il est là
Et qu'Il rigole de cette bête blague
"mais quel idiot"
Dieu doit penser
"Il apprend jamais sa leçon"
Je perdis le contexte
À la fin, je vous raconte le milieu
Je pouvais plus soutenir le poid
Je pensai qu'une ouverture serait le meilleur
Je crus que nous avions mieux à faire
Que nous prendre aux jeux
J'eus tort, comme d'habitude
Putain, j'ai mal à la tête et au coeur.
Deux fois connard. Moi, le courageux
J'en mérite
Monday, September 10, 2012
Friday, August 31, 2012
That old piano at the Uni
He sat down in front of that old piano
and started hitting the same key
over and over
he honestly expected a symphony to come out of that
sweetly naive
Although he seemed to follow a monotone
he was searching
frantically
on every pitch
on every face
on the smallest things
for news of his fate
Those missing chords
where could they be ?
trying to figure life out through an old piano ?
then he just played
The Ode to Joy
and went away
and started hitting the same key
over and over
he honestly expected a symphony to come out of that
sweetly naive
Although he seemed to follow a monotone
he was searching
frantically
on every pitch
on every face
on the smallest things
for news of his fate
Those missing chords
where could they be ?
trying to figure life out through an old piano ?
then he just played
The Ode to Joy
and went away
Thursday, August 30, 2012
Quoi qu'il en soit
Et comme s'il avait rien à perdre
son coeur commençait à battre
on sait qu'il y a d'autres
et qu'autrement ça marche pas
mais ça bat quand même
et ça vit
et son sang coule
il crain d'être pas voulu
voulu comme il veut
voulu comme il voudrait
voulu comme il vallait
il nie aveuglément
ce destin méchant
et puis
il arriva à la conclusion
soit c'est l'histoire qui se repète
soit ça lui fait plaisir la souffrance
son coeur commençait à battre
on sait qu'il y a d'autres
et qu'autrement ça marche pas
mais ça bat quand même
et ça vit
et son sang coule
il crain d'être pas voulu
voulu comme il veut
voulu comme il voudrait
voulu comme il vallait
il nie aveuglément
ce destin méchant
et puis
il arriva à la conclusion
soit c'est l'histoire qui se repète
soit ça lui fait plaisir la souffrance
Information Overload
Yeah, so I decided it was about time for me to resume writing something, anything.
I have been through a lot lately and 'been accumulating so much information and feeling this huge urge to release my creativity... well, it all comes down to this old blog in the end.
I don't exactly know if I'm writing this down for art itself or just for the feeling of releaf.
On the other hand, it's hard for me to decide what to write here since internet feels so public and invasive and both bother me quite a lot.
I actually should start by boring all possible readers as I write down shit I should do.
1 - Do some yoga again
- The meditation center is no longer close to my place here, therefore I can no longer go there by foot. I would have to take the metro downtown and find out where the hell is that meditation center.
Hopefully, I won't get another personality crysis out of yoga again and will be able to put my stress and all my feelings under my command once more.
2 - Study italian
- Writing this is making me realize how stupid I am with all this "self-pity" and "self-harming" speech of "pseudo- 21st Century-depression". I mean, if I have goals, how can I possibly allow myself to feel so sad, unmotivated and pessimist ? It's stupid. Only ordinary people are meant to keep their dreams out of reality.
I mean, yesterday, I ressurrected my twitter account only to see how the same people there keep posting the same shit complaining about their plain and failing lives in order to get some fake and unsubstancial attention from their "followers".
I just feel like telling them all "Get a life !". But lately who am I to say so ? I've been ill for almost a week now and using this as an excuse for my lack of advance makes me feel close to pathetic.
Close, because pathetic is something I use to set some people as "not to follow" examples.
3 - Writing stuff here
- At last we have come to a topic where things are actually happening, haven't we ? Sweet.
4 - Inspiration and Motivation
- Well (talking to self), just look around, look at all those sad and fucked up people around you. Were you born to be like them ? Of course not, forging yourself into what you are meant to withstand the demands of your great destiny.
Destiny is a bad joke like all things related to God are. Bad, bad jokes. Still not bad enough for me to like them.
Why are you so afraid of your own success ? Fear of the unknown ? Misstrust ? Uncessessary and dangerous humbleness ? You have done it all before, ain't nothing new.
5 - Get a job
- I swear I am trying but I haven't yet come to terms of cleaning floors or serving tables for less than 300 euros per month !
In sum, I am fed up of people complaining about being unsatisfied, sad, hopeless and I am fed up of how much I am feeling like that myself too.
Sometimes, we all want to give in but we just have to move on.
People on twitter, on facebook, everywhere, they are all complaining about life and making some same jokes built up by different words on how they are screwed but still funny notwithstanding their miserable and boring life circumstances.
I should get as cunning as I once was and to read some good and always up to date Machiavelli
"Be cunning like a fox and grand like a lion"
I have been through a lot lately and 'been accumulating so much information and feeling this huge urge to release my creativity... well, it all comes down to this old blog in the end.
I don't exactly know if I'm writing this down for art itself or just for the feeling of releaf.
On the other hand, it's hard for me to decide what to write here since internet feels so public and invasive and both bother me quite a lot.
I actually should start by boring all possible readers as I write down shit I should do.
1 - Do some yoga again
- The meditation center is no longer close to my place here, therefore I can no longer go there by foot. I would have to take the metro downtown and find out where the hell is that meditation center.
Hopefully, I won't get another personality crysis out of yoga again and will be able to put my stress and all my feelings under my command once more.
2 - Study italian
- Writing this is making me realize how stupid I am with all this "self-pity" and "self-harming" speech of "pseudo- 21st Century-depression". I mean, if I have goals, how can I possibly allow myself to feel so sad, unmotivated and pessimist ? It's stupid. Only ordinary people are meant to keep their dreams out of reality.
I mean, yesterday, I ressurrected my twitter account only to see how the same people there keep posting the same shit complaining about their plain and failing lives in order to get some fake and unsubstancial attention from their "followers".
I just feel like telling them all "Get a life !". But lately who am I to say so ? I've been ill for almost a week now and using this as an excuse for my lack of advance makes me feel close to pathetic.
Close, because pathetic is something I use to set some people as "not to follow" examples.
3 - Writing stuff here
- At last we have come to a topic where things are actually happening, haven't we ? Sweet.
4 - Inspiration and Motivation
- Well (talking to self), just look around, look at all those sad and fucked up people around you. Were you born to be like them ? Of course not, forging yourself into what you are meant to withstand the demands of your great destiny.
Destiny is a bad joke like all things related to God are. Bad, bad jokes. Still not bad enough for me to like them.
Why are you so afraid of your own success ? Fear of the unknown ? Misstrust ? Uncessessary and dangerous humbleness ? You have done it all before, ain't nothing new.
5 - Get a job
- I swear I am trying but I haven't yet come to terms of cleaning floors or serving tables for less than 300 euros per month !
In sum, I am fed up of people complaining about being unsatisfied, sad, hopeless and I am fed up of how much I am feeling like that myself too.
Sometimes, we all want to give in but we just have to move on.
People on twitter, on facebook, everywhere, they are all complaining about life and making some same jokes built up by different words on how they are screwed but still funny notwithstanding their miserable and boring life circumstances.
I should get as cunning as I once was and to read some good and always up to date Machiavelli
"Be cunning like a fox and grand like a lion"
Sunday, February 12, 2012
A Gentil Melancolia - La Gentille Mélancolie
Uma sensação estranha é-me vinda esta noite.
Não consegui escolher ninguém para compartilhar da ideia desse sentimento, pois não o creio bastante compreendido para compartilhá-lo bem.
Eu sinto todos os sintomas da tristeza de uma melancolia, mas ao mesmo tempo, sinto um bem estar tão estranho e tão discreto.
É como se eu fosse uma criança solitária que aguarda uma mudança. Sem saber do seu futuro novo colégio, de quem serão seus novos amigos, se fará chuva ou Sol, mas que se vê contente mesmo assim.
É um sorriso puramente interno. Há uma disparidade entre o meu olhar e o meu coração, é como se os meus olhos, momentaneamente, não fossem mais a janela à minha alma.
É como a doce e nostálgica brisa oceânica que esfria o meu rosto quando estou à janela do meu quarto, observando o mar e o céu unidos pelo grande véu noturno.
É lindo, temporário e repetitivo.
Às vezes, é preciso calar-se.
Une étrange sensation m'est venue ce soir.
Je n'ai pas réussi à choisir quelqu'un pour en partager l'idée de ce sentiment, car je ne le crois pas assez compris pour être bien partagé.
J'éprouve tous les sensations de la tristesse d'une mélancolie, mais d'un coup, j'éprouve d'un bien-être si étrange et si discret.
C'est comme si j'étais un enfant solitaire qui attend un déménagement. Sans savoir de sa future nouvelle école, de qui seront ses nouveaux amis, s'il pleuvra ou s'il fera beau, mais qui se voit content quand même.
C'est un sourire purement au dedans. Il y a une disparité entre mon regard et mon cœur, c'est comme si mes yeux, par moment, n'étaient plus la fenêtre vers mon âme.
C'est comme la douce et nostalgique brise océanique qui refroidit ma face quand je suis chez la fenêtre de ma chambre, en regardant la mer et le ciel réunis par le grande voile de la nuit.
C'est beau, passagère et répétitif.
Parfois, il faut se taire.
Não consegui escolher ninguém para compartilhar da ideia desse sentimento, pois não o creio bastante compreendido para compartilhá-lo bem.
Eu sinto todos os sintomas da tristeza de uma melancolia, mas ao mesmo tempo, sinto um bem estar tão estranho e tão discreto.
É como se eu fosse uma criança solitária que aguarda uma mudança. Sem saber do seu futuro novo colégio, de quem serão seus novos amigos, se fará chuva ou Sol, mas que se vê contente mesmo assim.
É um sorriso puramente interno. Há uma disparidade entre o meu olhar e o meu coração, é como se os meus olhos, momentaneamente, não fossem mais a janela à minha alma.
É como a doce e nostálgica brisa oceânica que esfria o meu rosto quando estou à janela do meu quarto, observando o mar e o céu unidos pelo grande véu noturno.
É lindo, temporário e repetitivo.
Às vezes, é preciso calar-se.
Une étrange sensation m'est venue ce soir.
Je n'ai pas réussi à choisir quelqu'un pour en partager l'idée de ce sentiment, car je ne le crois pas assez compris pour être bien partagé.
J'éprouve tous les sensations de la tristesse d'une mélancolie, mais d'un coup, j'éprouve d'un bien-être si étrange et si discret.
C'est comme si j'étais un enfant solitaire qui attend un déménagement. Sans savoir de sa future nouvelle école, de qui seront ses nouveaux amis, s'il pleuvra ou s'il fera beau, mais qui se voit content quand même.
C'est un sourire purement au dedans. Il y a une disparité entre mon regard et mon cœur, c'est comme si mes yeux, par moment, n'étaient plus la fenêtre vers mon âme.
C'est comme la douce et nostalgique brise océanique qui refroidit ma face quand je suis chez la fenêtre de ma chambre, en regardant la mer et le ciel réunis par le grande voile de la nuit.
C'est beau, passagère et répétitif.
Parfois, il faut se taire.
Wednesday, February 8, 2012
2012 - Agora.
Então, 2012 começou. Não escrevi no blog em Janeiro, porque procrastinação é algo que me persegue em qualquer status
Status = períodos de aula, períodos de férias.
Janeiro iniciara-se com o meu retorno à cidade fantasma de Salvador para passar uma temporada com os meus pais antes da minha partida daqui a 18 dias.
As coisas ocorreram bem. Eu dei seguimento à Yoga e aquele processo para dar uma "heal" na minha "soul".
Isso tudo me levou a um conflito interno muito grande. Até onde eu me permito mudar, mudar no que tange suprimir cetos defeitos ?
A meditação, os novos caminhos, o novo idioma, os novos velhos objetivos, as novas pulsações e os novos delírios. Eu já pressentia 2012 como um ano explêndido. Mas admito que dei um empurrãozinho no destino.
Felizmente, já não me confronto mais com o tempo e o destino como antes, afinal ZZZZZZZZZZZZZ
Eu trabalho para que o pêndulo dos meus pensamentos pare, para que eu não mais lamente o passado e não mais tema o futuro. Então, que eu viva o presente e que eu realmente viva.
"Eu sou o puro espírito"
"Eu não tenho culpa de nada"
"Eu sou o meu próprio mestre"
"Eu perdoo a todos e a mim mesmo"
"Eu me desprendo do passado"
Todas se tornaram frases comuns do meu dia-a-dia durante as minahs meditações e incursões ao meu âmbito mais íntimo e espiritual. O meu lago da gôndola solitária.
"Omnia Mutantur, nihil interit" "Tudo se transforma, nada se perde"
O desapego é algo difícil de ser imediata e completamente aplicado à minha ever-changing personalidade. Só que ainda tenho muitos questionamentos, promessas falsas e dedicatórias vãs para entender ou desistir de entender e apenas sentir o que vier por aí.
Ademais, o meu ego é tão falso e mortal quanto o de todos vós. Não somos estas mentes, não somos estes pensamentos, não somos estes corpos, não somos estes condicionamentos. E eu realmente começo a entender o quão simples e belo é tudo isso que acreditava eu ser tão complexo.
Não que eu esteja com o "heart" "broken", mas é pela parte de "I will find a way to heal my soul" que escolhi postar essa música.
Saturday, December 31, 2011
2011 Retrospective
January - I think it's when I created this blog so I could write whatever I want online and have people reading it.
A very awkward period of time of boredom between two intense time periods.
I was still waiting for the university admittance tests results and I was preparing myself to drastic changes in my life that were about to come.
"It's all in my mind. All in good time"
February - After my approval and admittance in the university, I moved to Rio and I started building what we can call as a new life.
It all revolved around Mars.
I had to cut my hair short and wear ordinary clothes so I could convince my parents that I would be a normal person in Rio.
Thanks to a very good friend of mine from the south, I met the one who would be my best friend in Rio.
Adaptation was pretty easy since I could stand no longer living in that other town, since I had spent 2010 designing my own way out of that living hell I was living in.
"It's the promise of spring, it's the joy in your heart"
March - the winds got stronger and university had started and became the trigger of what would 2011 end up being.
There were the Iron Maiden show, the first party with those who would later become my closest friends in Rio, and it was all so new, all so glowing and so fantastic.
Sooner than I had first thought, I started holding most of my uni class in contempt for the wretches they are.
I had brought a new dawn into my life and it was quite interesting.
"I'm never gonna stop searching"
April - That one was a very pleasant month. Hanging out with new friends, travelling and getting to see the old ones.
One by one, my old stars were leaving my routine and my diaries.
To whom it may concern, on the other hand, I was finding new good people and befriending them everywhere. That positive magnetism was really wondrous to me then.
And the changes kept going on.
"It's all a blur last night"
May - With my majority, freedom had arrived at a new stage in my life.
It all had become more intense.
The university exams and my studies.
The parties and the hanging outs.
My endless doubts and my will to feel thrilled.
I had started saving money so I could try to get admitted into the university of Oslo on the next year.
I had started creating many plans on travelling abroad in the end of the year by any means necessary.
Then I realised that my dreams themselves were stronger than some ... people.
"I could swear by your expression that the pain down in your soul was the same... as the one down in mine"
June - My heart was divided between my love and my goals.
I had arrived at the ultimate generosity level. In which I could give up everything for something of a great illusion.
I was working restlessly so I could keep it all on a short leash and at my reach. I wanted to have good grades, a good social life, a considerable time of rest and all at the same time.
I pursued one of my old concepts of perfection.
Nothing was allowed to fail in my so-called design.
I had given much of my old innocence in exchange for my new found freedom.
But something of bigger measures waited for me in the following month.
"Spring bleeds in Paris"
July - I had finished my first semester in the uni with good grades and I was ready for something I had been expecting for a long, long time.
I went to Paris for the first time and I fell in love for the real part of a dream which I had been loving since I was a child.
I met outstanding people, a marvelous culture and an ancient and beautiful country.
Nevertheless, some bounds still attached me back from where I came and part of me wanted to return and to extinguish that painful distance.
What would I do ? How to have it all at the same time ? How to succeed in something so daring, so difficult and so extraordinary ?
Somehow I guess I just knew that I was really born to fly anyway.
"You and I will walk together again"
August - a month for settling down and searching for some balance and peace of mind. Those efforts had then proved useless. My pessimism, misstrust and intuition stood on one side against any faith or blind belief I might still have had then.
The new Moon was rising as the Sun was decaying. Then I felt my heart was more splitted than ever ! I could not make a wise choice since I wanted it all. I wanted everything that was in my grip and I would rather die then to let go off them.
My main efforts were on so rock in rio would go fine according to what was being planning the whole year.
I wanted both Sun and Moon close to me, but... somehow, I wanted to get rid off them and preserve my freedom. I wanted to be far away from them, far away from something that I always knew to be impossible.
"An illusion reaching there for me"
September - All at once, my schedule for rock in rio had failed and I had to travel to Brasília in that same day and pretend to be fine and alright to everywhere while I was also trying to work it all out, to fix what was wrong.
I brought the Moon to rock in rio so I could replace Sun there. It worked better than I had expected. Until the momment I realised that my heart was completly closed to anyone else when both of them were away from me. Longing was illustrating my heart.
I went to Rock in Rio during the Metal day and it was really an awesome experience.
I also went to a Blind Guardian show.
I had got a wonderful opportunity to spend part of the next year in Europe by some awesome european friends of mine and I would find myself working restessly in order to succeed with this whole idea very soon.
"And will we ever end up together ? No, I think not. It's never to become... for I am not the one"
October - Although I had great advances with both Sun and Moon, Moon had turned against me all of sudden and I had to painfully sever that beloved tie I had just created.
Sun would never sound true when sober and that I fedding me up. The lies, the deceiving, the feeling of exaustion that was spreding and growing deep inside of me were too much for me to stand.
By the moment I felt my feelings were far too offended to go on with that, I knew it was time to put an end to all of that. Then I severed my precious ties with Sun and with many other people that had become nothing but past redemption.
After all of that, I was utterly devastated. I did not know what was right and what was real anymore. Than I took three weeks of that blooming spring to re-born.
I had to open my heart, to regain my self-esteem, to belive in myself again, to move on, to leave it all behind and fly, fly away.
"How could I burn paradise ?"
November - I race against time and against all circunstances so I can do my cultural exchange abroad in 2012. I went after jobs, opportunities and low prices. I stood on and on against them all and it was easier since I did not feel that I still had anything else to lose here.
I had to drown october under all I was doing so another change could come according to plan.
And some of those who want me to come back ar part of the reason why I wish I could stay away forever.
My new friendships got stronger and my objectives got clearer.
Fortunately, I felt strong again, strong enough to face it all.
"Come take a walk on the wild side"
December - I met with a great friend of mine for the first time in a travel to Curitiba.
I have started searching for peace of mind and inner-balance through a meditative yoga.
After retrieving my self-esteem and my personal strength, I thought it was time to clean my soul from all harm and grudge it might be carrying along.
The meditation has been proving itself very useful and helpful and it has made me more patient and more foccused on myself.
Next step will be using it so I can bend time to my will and let us make a truce.
written by Daedalus.
A very awkward period of time of boredom between two intense time periods.
I was still waiting for the university admittance tests results and I was preparing myself to drastic changes in my life that were about to come.
"It's all in my mind. All in good time"
February - After my approval and admittance in the university, I moved to Rio and I started building what we can call as a new life.
It all revolved around Mars.
I had to cut my hair short and wear ordinary clothes so I could convince my parents that I would be a normal person in Rio.
Thanks to a very good friend of mine from the south, I met the one who would be my best friend in Rio.
Adaptation was pretty easy since I could stand no longer living in that other town, since I had spent 2010 designing my own way out of that living hell I was living in.
"It's the promise of spring, it's the joy in your heart"
March - the winds got stronger and university had started and became the trigger of what would 2011 end up being.
There were the Iron Maiden show, the first party with those who would later become my closest friends in Rio, and it was all so new, all so glowing and so fantastic.
Sooner than I had first thought, I started holding most of my uni class in contempt for the wretches they are.
I had brought a new dawn into my life and it was quite interesting.
"I'm never gonna stop searching"
April - That one was a very pleasant month. Hanging out with new friends, travelling and getting to see the old ones.
One by one, my old stars were leaving my routine and my diaries.
To whom it may concern, on the other hand, I was finding new good people and befriending them everywhere. That positive magnetism was really wondrous to me then.
And the changes kept going on.
"It's all a blur last night"
May - With my majority, freedom had arrived at a new stage in my life.
It all had become more intense.
The university exams and my studies.
The parties and the hanging outs.
My endless doubts and my will to feel thrilled.
I had started saving money so I could try to get admitted into the university of Oslo on the next year.
I had started creating many plans on travelling abroad in the end of the year by any means necessary.
Then I realised that my dreams themselves were stronger than some ... people.
"I could swear by your expression that the pain down in your soul was the same... as the one down in mine"
June - My heart was divided between my love and my goals.
I had arrived at the ultimate generosity level. In which I could give up everything for something of a great illusion.
I was working restlessly so I could keep it all on a short leash and at my reach. I wanted to have good grades, a good social life, a considerable time of rest and all at the same time.
I pursued one of my old concepts of perfection.
Nothing was allowed to fail in my so-called design.
I had given much of my old innocence in exchange for my new found freedom.
But something of bigger measures waited for me in the following month.
"Spring bleeds in Paris"
July - I had finished my first semester in the uni with good grades and I was ready for something I had been expecting for a long, long time.
I went to Paris for the first time and I fell in love for the real part of a dream which I had been loving since I was a child.
I met outstanding people, a marvelous culture and an ancient and beautiful country.
Nevertheless, some bounds still attached me back from where I came and part of me wanted to return and to extinguish that painful distance.
What would I do ? How to have it all at the same time ? How to succeed in something so daring, so difficult and so extraordinary ?
Somehow I guess I just knew that I was really born to fly anyway.
"You and I will walk together again"
The new Moon was rising as the Sun was decaying. Then I felt my heart was more splitted than ever ! I could not make a wise choice since I wanted it all. I wanted everything that was in my grip and I would rather die then to let go off them.
My main efforts were on so rock in rio would go fine according to what was being planning the whole year.
I wanted both Sun and Moon close to me, but... somehow, I wanted to get rid off them and preserve my freedom. I wanted to be far away from them, far away from something that I always knew to be impossible.
"An illusion reaching there for me"
September - All at once, my schedule for rock in rio had failed and I had to travel to Brasília in that same day and pretend to be fine and alright to everywhere while I was also trying to work it all out, to fix what was wrong.
I brought the Moon to rock in rio so I could replace Sun there. It worked better than I had expected. Until the momment I realised that my heart was completly closed to anyone else when both of them were away from me. Longing was illustrating my heart.
I went to Rock in Rio during the Metal day and it was really an awesome experience.
I also went to a Blind Guardian show.
I had got a wonderful opportunity to spend part of the next year in Europe by some awesome european friends of mine and I would find myself working restessly in order to succeed with this whole idea very soon.
"And will we ever end up together ? No, I think not. It's never to become... for I am not the one"
October - Although I had great advances with both Sun and Moon, Moon had turned against me all of sudden and I had to painfully sever that beloved tie I had just created.
Sun would never sound true when sober and that I fedding me up. The lies, the deceiving, the feeling of exaustion that was spreding and growing deep inside of me were too much for me to stand.
By the moment I felt my feelings were far too offended to go on with that, I knew it was time to put an end to all of that. Then I severed my precious ties with Sun and with many other people that had become nothing but past redemption.
After all of that, I was utterly devastated. I did not know what was right and what was real anymore. Than I took three weeks of that blooming spring to re-born.
I had to open my heart, to regain my self-esteem, to belive in myself again, to move on, to leave it all behind and fly, fly away.
"How could I burn paradise ?"
November - I race against time and against all circunstances so I can do my cultural exchange abroad in 2012. I went after jobs, opportunities and low prices. I stood on and on against them all and it was easier since I did not feel that I still had anything else to lose here.
I had to drown october under all I was doing so another change could come according to plan.
And some of those who want me to come back ar part of the reason why I wish I could stay away forever.
My new friendships got stronger and my objectives got clearer.
Fortunately, I felt strong again, strong enough to face it all.
"Come take a walk on the wild side"
I have started searching for peace of mind and inner-balance through a meditative yoga.
After retrieving my self-esteem and my personal strength, I thought it was time to clean my soul from all harm and grudge it might be carrying along.
The meditation has been proving itself very useful and helpful and it has made me more patient and more foccused on myself.
Next step will be using it so I can bend time to my will and let us make a truce.
written by Daedalus.
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