La Valse

À moi, il n'y a que la valse avec cet effet dans mon âme. N'importe combien je sois triste, la valse, quand bien jouée, ça me fera vouloir danser.
Seul, avec les bras ouvert en dansant avec le vent
ou
Accompagné, avec un bras sur ton épaule et l'autre à la taille de ta ceinture
La valse est assez calme pour qu'on puise rêver en dansant et c'est aussi assez vite pour qu'on puise tomber de tant se rouler

C'est cette danse qui me fait oublier le malheureusement, les chagrins et le passé lui-même pour que j'en fasse des nouveaux souvenir tandis que j'en danse.

Durant ces jours des études et d'ennui de l'âme. L'art me manque trop et j'en ai besoin pour que je m'expresse, pour que je fasse sortir tout ce que me blesse à l'intérieur, car dehors, ce malheur est beau, c'est malheur, en dehors, n'est que l'art en soi-même.

 Laisse que la valse coupe tes chemins, laisse que la valse te retienne à contre jour jusqu'à l'aurore.

Haver Ousadia / Valhalla

"Houvera, houve, há e haverá"

- Meu humor deu uma melhorada. Dei uma focada melhor. Tô abarrotado de tarefas pra semana que vem, mas até domingo tá tudo bem.

Mas ainda não estou escrevendo nisso aqui direito. Será um bloqueio ? :O !

Pois é. Talvez e muito provavelmente eu enfrente o desconhecido por mais outra vez no ano que vem. Mas dessa vez, só. Não permanentemente só, espero eu, mas temporariamente só.

Que valha a experiência, assim espero.
 Espero encontrar Valhalla e que eu tenha força para suportar os longos invernos até lá.

De certa forma, o conhecimento era bem visto na mitologia nórdica.
Odin sacrificou um olho ao poço de Urd para que obtivesse as sabedorias do reino inferior (Helheim) e como perdera, assim, metade de sua poderosa visão. Odin passou a usar dois corvos para ver, ouvir e saber tudo o que se passava pelo mundo. Os corvos viajavam e traziam toda informação que coletavam aos ouvidos anciões de Odin.
O mundo é imenso e será um motivo de orgulho para mim se eu viajá-lo e conhecê-lo. O verdadeiro conhecimento não é lido, o verdadeiro conhecimento é aquele vivido por nós à cada experiência, à cada erro e mudança. Principalmente nas mudanças (Erros costumam ocasionar morte, como não sei o que se passa depois da morte, não entrarei muito nesse tema).

Para finalizar o artigo. É justo que eu cite uma pequena passagem de Andréas-Lou Salomé


"Ouse, ouse... ouse tudo!!! 
Não tenha necessidade de nada!
 Não tente adequar sua vida a modelos, nem queira você mesmo ser um modelo para ninguém. Acredite: a vida lhe dará poucos presentes.

Se você quer uma vida, aprenda... a roubá-la! 
Ouse, ouse tudo! Seja na vida o que você é, aconteça o que acontecer. 
Não defenda nenhum princípio, mas algo de bem mais maravilhoso:
 algo que está em nós e que queima como o fogo da vida!!!"

Pato, pato, pato, pato, pato, pato, ganso.

Pois tudo o que você vê sou eu.

Tá, agora tirando essa frase aleatória, vamos ao ponto.
Penso sinceramente que as pessoas deveriam tomar as rédeas de suas vidas com maior frequência e se envergonharem de viver à mercê do que vier.
E é isso mesmo.

Dei-me de presente uma longa noite de sono. É legal ser agradável consigo mesmo, acreditem.
Chego à mesma conclusão de que sou feliz e triste ao mesmo tempo e que ainda estou tentando entender como isso (pode) funciona(r).

Mas, acima disso, estou bem insatisfeito. Ainda morarei num lugar maneiro na Europa y que jodanse as opiniões contrárias e nacionalistas de mierda.

Uma palavra pra este artigo, decadência. Tá ridículo, na moral.
Dá até pra disfarçar dizendo que está dinâmico.
Dinâmico e aerodinâmico são duas palavras idiotas que os artistas usam pra vender suas obras mais toscas.

Como a minha semana passada foi inteiramente eufórica e maravilhosa e tudo maaaaais, esta semana está sendo uma merda. Muitos questionamentos e aquela básica crise existencial que escolhe os meu pior humor para manifestar-se !

Ontem à noite, questionei-me pacas sobre o quão melhor seria não ser inteligente e sim, ser um baita ignorante. A ignorância é uma bênção enorme, você é feliz e idiota e pronto. Pra que pensar ? Não há nada feliz que o pensamento possa trazer que a ignorância já não seja em si.

Mas já que carrego essa porra de maldição do pensamento. Só me resta mesmo continuar vagando em busca de algo que me complete ou de algum lugar onde eu seja feliz, seja lá o que for essa tal de felicidade ou seja lá o que for que a provoca, traz ou abriga.

Levei três dias pra finalizar um lixo de artigo. Devo estar melhor e mais craitivo na semana que vem, pois essa semana de agora já vai tarde direto pro inferno.

Ah, num dos 0389430675706 sonhos que tive cochilando depois da natação até a hora do almoço, eu falei dormindo e dei um discurso metafísico revelador e filosófico do qual no lembro bulhufas e é isso aí, vós perdestes vosso tempo. Mas perder tempo é uma questão conceitual, então relaxai e aproveitai o quanto ainda vos resta. Acho que é isso que importa no final.

ACHO, minhas opiniões tendem a mudar como o vento muda suas direções.

Como sois todos interesseiros por foto, presumo-vos assim sendo. Postarei algumas fotos muy guapas aqui de uma das coisas mais singelamentes felizes da natureza.
Regojizai-vos

La peur. Ma peur.

"Le Malheur ne sert à rien" - Voltaire

Aujourd'hui, quand je disais adieu à ma mère avant de prendre mon vole.
Aujourd'hui, quand je disais adieu au mon meilleur ami.
Aujourd'hui, tandis que j'attends mon heure pour m'en aller,
je sentai quelque chose comme la peur.
Peur de ne leur voir plus, peur de ne leur plus reconnaître, peur de les oublier comme des souvenirs qu'on ne s'importe pas.
Ce sera un long voyage jusqu'à ce destin.
Pourquoi le temps nous moque comme ça ? Pourquoi nous ne pouvons pas rester pour toujours chez ceux qui nous aimons avec tant tendresse ?
Est-il le temps vraiment un salaud qui ne rien vaut ?
En regardant des bébés et des vielles photos (avant d'avoir parti jusqu'à l'aéroport), mon enfance me manqua trop. C'est la sensation qui me fait vouloir revenir aux temps passés et me rester là pendant toute l'éternité.
Je n'ai pas peur de mourir quand je ne rien veux beaucoup.
Ça veut dire que, maintenant, par moment, à l'instant ... je veux vivre.
Pourtant en choisissant les chemins qui j'ai choisit, j'ai laissé des partes miennes pour derrière.




Pour la deuxième fois, la chanson "Dog Days are Over (Les jours de chien sont finis)", par Florence and the Machine, me fit me léver de ma grande tristesse pour me souvenir que je peux bien utiliser mon chagrin et ma solitude comme deux donateurs de force pour que je fasse sûr que je parte à l'Europe ce mois de décembre.
Si je m'accrochais à l'un rêve, à l'une espoir. Tout sera plus facile de supporter.

 J'ai beaucoup des affaires au même temps dont tout ce que j'y veux faire c'est fuir d'ici.

Sweet Decadence

Well, this isn't like most of the other posts. This is supposed to be just a musical selection to represent my "Sweet Decadence". These last times.

Five songs which are very different from each other, but that can define many moments and bla bla bla. Just enjoy it ! 

I may be paranoid, but not an android

My sanity is like the thinest string of an harp being touched by the rude hands of fate.
The days are passing by faster and faster as my routine becomes no more. My sleeping has become the most random thing in my days, I never sleep at the same time in two following days.
As I was lacking sleep, I overslept this night, missing my swimming this morning due to having sleept so much.
But this is a nightmare to be played with the eyes wide open.

It's seems that whenever I solve an issue, three more issues show up to be solved by me and I just can't handle them in time so they won't split into more and more problems.
Or I just might not care about some problems, not at all.
I have more substantial (fancy word) stuff (shitty word) to work in. I long everyday to fly away, far, far away from this country and dive myself into the unknown once again for a change.

"I may be paranoid, but not an android"

You know, I through craving for fun. I have this constant need of breaking my boredom so I won't go (more) mad.

A long time ago, an alchemist called Paracelsus (this is a STORY, ok ? Part true, part false) was working into creating a lifeform without a concentional whoom. He spent a lot of time studying about it and then he had the brilliant (no) idea of putting horse poo and his own semen inside a coffin made of glass and then buring it down for forty days. OF COURSE IT DIDN'T WORK. Come on, he could have been more creative. horse shit + cum + vial of glass + forty days = human ? I don't think so.
But Paracelsus was very useful to science as he developped nice works with some elements like mercury and iron.

Getting back to the main subject which is myself, I'd say that I am more instable than I actually, usually, most of the times, am.
But it doesn't matter much right now, because I need a shower. It's too warm here and I need a shower.
Probably, I am just studying too much philosophic bullshit at the university, haha.
When I used to play megamanX, I played as Zero. I just thought him to be so damn cool. Long hair, samurai and with a troublesome mind and lifestyle and lifestory. I've always also been more into the quick characters too. Megaman was just too boring and slow with his bubbly bubble shots.
Zero was the darndest awesome character. Always lost between good and evil, past and present.
Zero didn't need a stupid ultimate armor to kick some asses down in that game. He had his super double-jump and his amazing "light-saber" hahahahaha. And he didn't need "the force", not at all !
Personally, my favorite game from megamanX series was "Megaman X5", maybe because it was the one which I reached the end !

And the game was so creative, cool and well-themed and the original sound-track leaves no insatisfactions !!

I also must admit that Dynamo was crazy awesome shit too.

I'm such a nerd :B

A Matter of Time

Sometimes we've got to face the truth and take some decisions that are harmful to ourselves, but that will do better in time.
I'll apply a self-control on my memory so I can stand it all, I must grow stronger and beat my withdrawal. It will hurt me a lot, but it can make me more master of myself.
I intend to suffer it all as much as I can before pouring myself over parties and more parties.
Because I need more, I just need so much more and at the same time, I don't.
Dumbledore was so damn right "Indifference and neglect often do much more damage than outright dislike". Hell yeah, old wizard, clever words.

 I leave longings to kill longings and I leave longings to realize what I long for.
One dat I'll fly away, fly away, far away from here. I thought I wouldn't be leaving this broken world behind on my own, by it seems to me that I was sadly mistaken.
How could I left even my dreams be so cruely inffected. The dust, the shadows, the reflections, the ghosts, I've figure out they are half mine, only half. I have become so much more, I have become more than I am, I have become like the people whom have come across me. I've become like them and they have become like me.

I belive I finally see and understand Cronus, the greek titan of time who used to devour his children after their birth.
We are all the children of the time with the fertility of life. With every passing seconds, our ultimate father devours us with an endless hunger. Sometimes he eats faster, sometimes he eats us slowly and painfully. Like if he is really enjoying the pain he causes to everyone. He devours our youth, our innocence, our loves and mwhen he is up to the final chew, our lives.
Nevertheless, Rhea, Cronus wife and titan of love and fertility cheated her atrocious husband by hiding his younger child and replacing him for a stone packed up with satin tissues.
She had, then, deceived time itself through the love she has devoted to her yougest son, Zeus.
Beautiful mythology when love wins time. Zeus has beaten his father and jailed him in Erebus, behind the outstanding gates of Tartarium.

But no futile fence, gate, wall or bat was enough to hold time's grasp and hunger. The Gods thought themselves to be safe while we, the mortals, are still under Cronus' hands. The Gods underestimated Cronus force and with time, they became forgotten and ignored, abandoned by those who once created them.
Zeus technically has beaten Cronus, because he ultimately enjoyed his life the best he could. Maybe the best we can do to conquer time is to use it more than it uses us. We shall all lose to death in the end, but how enjoyed were our lives in our ways to our fates is what matters in the end. Zeus has done his best and now his is immortal, as a mythological icon. We can all become somewhat immortals by bending time and fate to our will and getting the best from our short times here.
I'll use some time to turn my wounds into scars whilst time will bring me more to do me harm and more to delight me. And so the story goes.
I've also realized that I can learn so much more than I thought I actually could from time.
It's just like a quote from Aristophanes which says : The wise can learn many things from their enemy.

"Don't mistreat me
 Don't dismiss me
 In joy and sorrow

Find a meaning
Keep on dreaming
It is so hard to learn

Here I stand
In a castle of sand
Who can help me then ?"