A Matter of Time

Sometimes we've got to face the truth and take some decisions that are harmful to ourselves, but that will do better in time.
I'll apply a self-control on my memory so I can stand it all, I must grow stronger and beat my withdrawal. It will hurt me a lot, but it can make me more master of myself.
I intend to suffer it all as much as I can before pouring myself over parties and more parties.
Because I need more, I just need so much more and at the same time, I don't.
Dumbledore was so damn right "Indifference and neglect often do much more damage than outright dislike". Hell yeah, old wizard, clever words.

 I leave longings to kill longings and I leave longings to realize what I long for.
One dat I'll fly away, fly away, far away from here. I thought I wouldn't be leaving this broken world behind on my own, by it seems to me that I was sadly mistaken.
How could I left even my dreams be so cruely inffected. The dust, the shadows, the reflections, the ghosts, I've figure out they are half mine, only half. I have become so much more, I have become more than I am, I have become like the people whom have come across me. I've become like them and they have become like me.

I belive I finally see and understand Cronus, the greek titan of time who used to devour his children after their birth.
We are all the children of the time with the fertility of life. With every passing seconds, our ultimate father devours us with an endless hunger. Sometimes he eats faster, sometimes he eats us slowly and painfully. Like if he is really enjoying the pain he causes to everyone. He devours our youth, our innocence, our loves and mwhen he is up to the final chew, our lives.
Nevertheless, Rhea, Cronus wife and titan of love and fertility cheated her atrocious husband by hiding his younger child and replacing him for a stone packed up with satin tissues.
She had, then, deceived time itself through the love she has devoted to her yougest son, Zeus.
Beautiful mythology when love wins time. Zeus has beaten his father and jailed him in Erebus, behind the outstanding gates of Tartarium.

But no futile fence, gate, wall or bat was enough to hold time's grasp and hunger. The Gods thought themselves to be safe while we, the mortals, are still under Cronus' hands. The Gods underestimated Cronus force and with time, they became forgotten and ignored, abandoned by those who once created them.
Zeus technically has beaten Cronus, because he ultimately enjoyed his life the best he could. Maybe the best we can do to conquer time is to use it more than it uses us. We shall all lose to death in the end, but how enjoyed were our lives in our ways to our fates is what matters in the end. Zeus has done his best and now his is immortal, as a mythological icon. We can all become somewhat immortals by bending time and fate to our will and getting the best from our short times here.
I'll use some time to turn my wounds into scars whilst time will bring me more to do me harm and more to delight me. And so the story goes.
I've also realized that I can learn so much more than I thought I actually could from time.
It's just like a quote from Aristophanes which says : The wise can learn many things from their enemy.

"Don't mistreat me
 Don't dismiss me
 In joy and sorrow

Find a meaning
Keep on dreaming
It is so hard to learn

Here I stand
In a castle of sand
Who can help me then ?"